Motherhood – the empty nest

Being a mother highlighted all my shortcomings and strengths, reordered all my priorities, made me care less yet care more about myself, and completely changed how I view the world – everything came about them. I thank God for the opportunity to have raised three amazing humans. They are grown and flown, but I am grateful for the years they were mine. I experienced profound love and joy along with the challenges.

Those were years of sacrifice… but it was worth it. They are why my heart aches sometimes, missing them. Great love with no place to go for too much of the time these days. I am the sometime consigliere on the outside of their adult lives answering questions and giving advice when asked.

On the flip side, empty nest life is like being in my twenties again but better. It’s all about me now. It’s all about diving headlong into my life sans kids. I have new friendships, culled some old ones, keeping the ones that mattered. I downsized into a bungalow and found the love that I was always meant for me.

Life now is about work, friends, hobbies, food, and travel with a real partner who loves and respects me. Together four and a half years, married three and a half, Chris and I share six adult children and six grandchildren.

I made promises to my mom years ago – to tell her story, care for her photos, and to build a life for myself because my kids would grow up and go away. So, here we are. I have been working on those. As custodian of family photos of three generations, I have a massive project ahead of me. There are tubs of photos, letters, and memorabilia to sift through.

It will be five years since she passed in May. It’s taken me this long to really begin because I first had to grieve, and I have trepidation because my family disintegrated with her passing. There were contentious feelings as there always are in the loss of a matriarch. I’m not ready for her story yet.

This is about the journey being the destination.