Ethical Life Hacks: Wise Advice for Better Relationships and Etiquette

A sage of silliness once proclaimed some wise advice not for fools. Here’s some advice from wise women past and present (me), courtesy distilled and curated:

• Ringing someone’s phone off the hook? If they don’t answer by the third jingle, they’re probably busy saving the world – or taking a really long nap. Stop calling. They’ll call you back. Or not.
• Borrowed some cash? Return it faster than a boomerang. The same goes for those pens that seem to vanish into thin air. Be the magician who actually brings them back!
• Dining on someone else’s dime? Don’t leap for the lobster… unless you enjoy the taste of guilt with a side of side-eye.
• Prying into personal lives? Just don’t. Unless you’re writing their unauthorized biography, in which case, carry on (but expect plot twists). Skip “Oh, are you married yet? Don’t you have kids? Why didn’t you buy a house? Why don’t you buy a car.” It’s not your problem. Mind your own business.
• Doors aren’t just for decoration. Hold them open like you’re the gatekeeper to Narnia, regardless of who’s trotting through.
• Shared a cab or Uber? It they got the bill this time, the next ride’s on you. It’s a game of tag, but with taxis.
• Opinions are like kaleidoscopes, different at every turn. What’s a six to you might be a nine to them… unless you’re both bad at math.
• Interrupting storytellers? Let them spill the beans. You’ll need the full story for when you retell it with dragons.
• Teasing turned sour? Abort mission. Remember, laughter is contagious, but so are glares. If you tease someone, and they don’t seem to enjoy it, stop it and never do it again.
• Someone lends a hand? Shower them with thank-you’s like you’re a gratitude sprinkler.
• Sing praises in the spotlight, whisper criticisms in the shadows. Like a ninja. A very polite ninja.
• Commenting on someone’s weight? Just tell them they’re more fabulous than a unicorn. Trust me, unicorns never worry about the scale.
• Given a glimpse of someone’s photo gallery? Resist the swipe – there be dragons (or worse, selfies) you should not see and once seen can’t be unseen.
• Colleague’s got a doc appointment? Just wish them well. No need to play medical detective – unless you are actually playing Clue.
• Treat everyone like they’re the main character in your favorite book. Unless it’s a tragedy. In that case, maybe pick a different book.
• Give the janitor the same high-five you’d offer the big boss. No one’s handing out medals for the World’s Rudest Person, but they’ll definitely remember if you’re the one who treats people like VIPs.
• When someone’s chatting with you, don’t treat your phone like it’s the most fascinating thing since sliced bread. It’s not, and you’re not fooling anyone.
• Keep your wisdom to yourself until someone waves the white flag and actually asks for it. Unsolicited advice is about as welcome as a mosquito at a blood bank.
• Reuniting with old pals? Skip the “How old are you now?” and “How much do you make?” questions. Unless they’re vampires, they’ve aged, and unless they’re printing money, it’s none of your business.
• If it’s not about you, stay out of the drama. Consider it like double-dipping at a party – seriously frowned upon.
• If you’re rocking shades on the sidewalk and strike up a conversation, lift those dark shields. Eye contact is the secret sauce to a good chat – it’s like verbal seasoning. It’s a sign of respect. Eye contact is as important as speech.
• Don’t flaunt your cash in front of those counting pennies, and keep the kid talk to a minimum around those without. It’s like bringing steak to a vegetarian potluck – not cool.
• Got a nice message? Don’t just sit there; say “Thanks!” Gratitude is the universal currency – and it’s inflation proof.

Thanks for the read. This was a list asked for by a younger friend. Is there anything you would add to it?

#EthicalHacks #EmotionalIntelligence #WisdomInAction #LifeChoices