Tests, tests, and more tests

The past three weeks since my last post have been a whirlwind of learning and further defining my breast cancer diagnosis. I’m in the realm of there is no normal and have learned that everyone’s breast cancer is different.

Re-cap

To re-cap my journey to date, in April my sister was diagnosed with stage 4 pancreatic cancer and died 8 weeks later. I found myself in contemplative desolation in the place I have loved for 34 years when it happened, which was hardly recognizable, just as the loggerhead found its birthplace almost unrecognizable after 25 years in Turtle: The Incredible Journey. It had been a decade since I had been to the Outer Banks. The northern shores have destroyed by overdevelopment. The respite was that the place that I had stayed at before, The Colony by the Sea, was still there and offered comfort and was largely the same and well maintained.

My sister’s funeral was July 6th. A couple of weeks later I noticed something uncomfortable in my breast when I lay down to sleep. I’m a side sleeper and I thought that I was pinching my breast between my arm and the mattress. After a week of that I did a self-exam and found a lump. I asked my husband to confirm what I felt. So the following Monday I called and ended up at my PCP’s off because it was faster to get in there than my gyno’s office, who normally orders my mammograms. Anyway, that lump ended up being nothing but along the way they found cancer in the other breast. I got lucky it was found early because it’s so deep that it could not be felt.

Tests and more tests

So, this has led to tests, tests, and more tests. It started in my PCP’s office and then graduated immediately to the cancer center for a mammogram and breast ultrasound. Then followed by the meeting with the radiologist with initial diagnosis. My PCP order a lung scan too, so I then checked that off the list. Then came the biopsy, confirming cancer and the waiting for the further pathology results. In the meantime, I had a breast MRI, met the surgeon, had genetic testing, and made visits to other specialists I see that the surgeon found necessary to optimize my health and odds. This has been my August and September, a string of appointments, tests, and new medications.

The results are in, and I’m scheduled for surgery on October 6. So now it’s the countdown to surgery, recovery, and waiting again for pathology results post-surgery for next steps.

I have invasive ductal carcinoma, grade 3, E+, P+, HER2-, stage 1a with the caveat that staging could change post-surgery. See, this nasty little tumor is very close to my chest wall and how the lymph nodes behave can change things too. During surgery, they will put in dye and take any sentinel lymph nodes that turn blue. My gyn told me that this is a more difficult surgery because of the proximity to my chest wall. I’m praying for excellent surgical skills in my surgeon.

The kicker is that on the lung scan they found a nodule that the tumor board has decided to watch and wait. So, I’ll re-scan for that at the beginning of December. But at least genetics revealed that I do not have the BRCA 1 or 2 mutations. I’m grateful for that ray of sunshine knowing that I haven’t passed the genes on to my kids.

I’m hoping that the lung nodule is benign. I’ve learned that most adults get them and that a fraction are cancer. It’s tiny and that it was found so tiny is lucky. I feel the same about the breast cancer so far, lucky that it was caught early. Of course, I am worried and have been dealing with insomnia and have had my moments of anxiety. But I’m not freaked out so far. I’m hanging strong.

The plan

The plan I have chosen is a lumpectomy followed by radiation and hormone therapy, unless the post-surgery pathology directs a different path.

I’m feeling okay except for fatigue. I have been tired and lacking energy since spring, which I attributed to being emotionally taxed with grief and busy with work. My breast aches where they did the biopsy and now I can feel a lump where the tumor is in my chest. It’s probably swelling from the biopsy. I’m also dealing with new med side effects.

So that’s where I am right now… waiting and living with breast cancer. I think it’s time to go enjoy this beautiful early fall day and ponder what this journey is teaching me.